The Right Map: Navigating Personal and Professional Growth

In today's world, there are thousands of advice columns and YouTube videos talking about the simple steps you can take to reach the mystical, sought-after result of success. They all leave the reader/viewer thinking the same thing: "Is that it? I have to wake up at 5 am and write a to-do list with only three items. I can do that!" It all seems easy, but that advice might not have been aimed at you.

There was a time when I was a mother of a 9-month-old, exhausted, working in a new job, and having no social life. The way I was feeling was that I couldn't keep up with my life. What I thought I needed at the time was more concentration power. I found a video on YouTube with the title "How to get everything done" and went down the rabbit hole of following advice that wasn't for me. The main takeaways from the video were about blocking every activity on a calendar (even the time I would be sleeping or eating) and being constantly online and using every minute to do, learn, or move.

The results were an exhausted person with a toddler and a hectic job, finding time for walks, sleeping 5 hours, and writing a book as a hobby. I was working 16 hours a day, taking work home, and was even online anytime, receiving calls at 11 pm. The progress I was making in my career was amazing, but I couldn't understand why I was still not feeling better. Those feelings of guilt at the end of the day when I didn't get anything done should be enough to fuel me, right? My immediate thought was, "then I am not doing enough." I felt even worse and couldn't bring myself to do anything more; I had no time in the day!

This is when I took a step back and decided to get a coach. This was the best decision I made in my life. I shared the case above and wanted to find a solution to what I was trying to accomplish. I quickly realized the messages I was receiving were not for me anymore. I was performing well; I needed a different set of advice to suit my new situation. It was great to spend the first few sessions really looking at what I had accomplished so far and celebrating it. Then thinking about how to move forward. Here is what I learned from the coaching sessions I had:

1. What I really wanted wasn't career advancement or recognition. I had already received those; I wanted a role where I felt connected to the results I was producing.

2. I wanted to feel physically better, and I was ignoring that. That meant simple steps like eating, sleeping, and socializing enough.

3. Doing more is not the answer for better work. I couldn't possibly fit all the things I wanted to do in one person's calendar. So, I should find space for rest and really focus on only the most impactful items on my to-do list.

4. To put my needs before ANYONE else's, including people I look up to.

Finally, I realized I was using a map of a different city. I was on "focus and grow" street looking at the "Get started" Avenue map, trying to get to a destination I hadn't even determined yet. After coaching, I realized that using the right map just starts with determining where you are at the moment, then trying to get to a destination. You can't do one without the other.

Hope this helps you to take a minute to decide whether the advice you are hearing really applies to you right now.